Welcome To Grigr

With 2009 winding down so too are the aught years. So, while everyone else has put together their “Best Of The Aughts” I figured I would whip up something as well.

[NOTE: this list is solely comprised of shows that I have seen. Therefore, do not take it personal that I have not included The Office, The Wire, Firefly, or Deadwood (or any show that barely had an audience to begin with and was thus cancelled to little overall fanfare--hello Pushing Daisies). It also worth noting that The Sopranos does not make this list. Yes, the first season was great, and the second season was very strong. But the last few seasons were laughably mediocre--especially when you consider the huge gaps of time in between some of the seasons. Additionally, the series finale of The Sopranos was so reprehensibly terrible, and was such a thoroughly uncreative cop-out that it made me retroactively hate the entire show. If I were to ever meet David Chase I would demand that he give me those 86 hours back. I bring this up because Mad Men is the product of a former Sopranos writer or producer (I forget which) and, therefore, I will never watch Mad Men. I am not a vengeful person by nature but any new show or movie--if they mentioned that it is done by Chase or someone from The Sopranos--I will not watch it. The series finale was that bad to me. So, all of you people who love Mad Men now: be prepared to drink some Kool-Aid if you want to believe that the last season will be good. Don't say I didn't warn you.]

Anyway, on to the list. First up, some honorable mentions…

12 Honorable Mentions

30 Rock — The absolute best episodes are the first 10 or 12 in the first season when the writers spread the wealth between all of the stars and second-tier characters like Pete and Lutz. The show is still very good but by making almost episode since a constant volley-fest between Liz, Jack, Kenneth, and Tracy (to say nothing of the blatant caricaturization of Jenna, and the over-reliance on guest stars) it has lost a little bit of luster for me.

The Amazing Race — One of the best network TV reality shows. Loses a lot of points in my book, though, because of how anti-climactic the finales usually are. And it would be nice if they had a reunion show every once in a while.

Damages — This would be a no-brainer to be in the top ten if it had more than 2 seasons to its name. But make no mistake, season 1 was outstanding. Possibly the best debut season of any show this decade.

Gilmore Girls — Any show that casually references The Shaggs, The Fountainhead, Stereolab, and The Yearling (seemingly in the same conversation between two characters) gets a thumbs-up from me if they can pull it off. Also, the last 5 minutes of the season 6 episode “Friday Night’s Alright For Fighting” is some of the funniest stuff I’ve seen.

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia — With episode titles such as “Dennis Looks Like A Registered Sex Offender,” “Sweet Dee’s Dating A Retarded Person,” and “The Gang Finds A Dumpster Baby,” you will know right away if you will like this show. I like this show.

No Reservations With Anthony Bourdain — Anthony Bourdain takes you all over the world with the goal of finding those non-tourist-y gems amongst the overcrowded tourist havens. It’s one part travel show, one part food show and Bourdain is charismatic enough (and his narrations perfectly written) to be one of the coolest tour guides you could ever hope to find.

Scrubs — Some people might be turned off by Zach Braff’s voice (or presence) but Scrubs was consistently the most inventive sitcom of the decade, pulling out the veritable kitchen sink at any given moment which made it sort of a live-action Simpson’s in terms of surreal, goofy comedy. And even the “serious” episodes were surprisingly touching, especially the last episode that Brendan Fraser appeared in.

Sex & The City — Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda are The Beatles of women in television. Any future show that follows girlfriends around as they make their way through life will be compared to this show. And while I think that show lost a few steps towards the end, seasons 1 and 4 are pretty damn strong.

Six Feet Under — Though this show could be inconsistent at times, the final season was pretty strong (the finale was very good) and each season always had its share of great episodes. The best episode of the show’s run, “The Room,” rivaled anything that was on TV at the time as it perfectly blended humor and death and frustration seamlessly.

South Park — What can you say? When South Park is on, it’s one of the funniest shows on television. It’s really as simple as that.

Survivor — Would be on the top ten for the last couple seasons alone, but I couldn’t put it up there because I got bored by some of the seasons pretty easily. That said, Jeff Probst is still one of the best personalities on TV and some of the obstacle courses they come up with are extremely creative.

Weeds — One of the craziest shows I’ve watched this decade. Some moments from the four seasons I’ve seen: a boy shot a cougar in his backyard, a man had his toe bitten off by a dog, someone inadvertently recorded someone being blown up by a missile, a cross from a church was turned into a large grow lamp. And all 4 season finales have been batshit crazier than this (while also being endlessly entertaining).

Now for the list…

#10 – Big Love

The thing about Big Love for me is that it really is the only show in which every member of this large ensemble was perfectly cast. I mean, Bill Paxton is Bill Henrickson in every possible aspect. I can no longer think of Paxton as someone other than the polygamist husband of three wives who wants nothing but the best for his family, even to a fault as he sometimes falls victim to not thinking things out too clearly. Because Big Love incorporates the mainstream aspects of the Mormon religion as well as the compound aspect of old-school polygamy the show will most certainly not run out of any good ideas and, thus far, the first three seasons have been genuinely engaging and engrossing–capable of bringing healthy doses of emotion at times without ever feeling cheap or corny. The late ’90′s and all of the ’00′s brought to television a new era of anti-heroes or grotesque characters hell-bent on making the viewer constantly swim in a large pool of gray area. While you may be fundamentally against polygamy, Big Love has never aimed to convert opinion; it merely uses it as an updated means of showing a family that is always trying to hold itself together in the midst of external forces. The show outdid itself last season with the episode “Come, Ye Saints” in which the entire family goes on a road trip to Cumorah, NY to go see the Joseph Smith shrine. The episode’s handling of one of the character’s miscarriage is a microcosm of how delicately and profoundly they handle things that should veer hard into gray areas. Instead, it humanizes it to near perfection.

#9 – Veronica Mars

Yes, season two of Veronica Mars was a little too complex for its own good and, yes, season three had its share of misses but the strength of season 1 as a whole and the season 3 episode “Spit & Eggs” were outstanding enough for me to put it in my top 10 list. First things first, season 1. Phenomenal. It had a perfect mix of humor intertwined within the long arc story of who killed Lilly Kane. Its use of flashbacks never felt out of place or corny either. It all culminated up to a legitimately great season finale in which Lilly’s killer is finally discovered, as well as Veronica and her father left beaten up and broke. The season 3 episode “Spit & Eggs” is one of the best episodes in general of the decade. Veronica is a freshman in college and she is trying to find out who on campus is drugging and raping girls (then cutting off all of their hair as a final insult). The episode scrambles the sequencing a bit by starting when Veronica realizes who the rapist is (but the viewer doesn’t know), then working backwards from the night before, and then catching up to everything that later unfolds. Also, the means in which Veronica’s ex-boyfriend Logan gets thrown in jail so that he can stay in the same cell as the rapist is one of the best moments of the show.

#8 – Freaks And Geeks

A show that technically debuted in the ’90′s (1999 in fact), Freaks And Geeks was so spot-on of its portrayal of early-’80′s high school dorks and social retreads that I no doubt believe that many TV and film critics openly weeped while watching the pilot episode, conceding that Judd Apatow hit the nail on the proverbial head and causing all of the weird emotions to surface yet again. The casting of the show was perfect and each episode was handled with such care and nuance that I felt myself believing at times that I attended a high school in Michigan in the early ’80′s. The way that social cliques work (even amongst the stoners) and how delicate communication in any form is when you are in high school are presented with a naturalistic brush stroke. The best episodes are the ones that prey on a high school kid’s worst fear: something extraneously heavy outside of school being introduced. Like the episode when Bill’s mom starts dating the gym teacher (played by the actor who played Biff in Back To The Future), or the episode when someone’s dog is accidentally killed, or when Sam’s friend finds out that his dad is having an affair. None of these are ever played up as Very Special Episodes, but they strike a chord because we feel like we know these kids and their parents.

#7 – Boston Legal

It received critical acclaim only in spurts (even though William Shatner, James Spader, and Candace Bergen all won Emmys) but Boston Legal was, I thought, one of the most consistently smart dramedies on television this decade. Oh sure, some of the cases and plot lines were non-sensical. And, yes, some of Alan Shore’s (Spader) speeches were so soapbox-y that the makers of soapboxes surely threatened to pull advertising from the show. But the core cast of Shatner, Spader, and Bergen was pitch-perfect to the point that not even David E. Kelley’s worst tendencies could disrupt the flow of the show from season to season. Add in a fitting series finale and you have one of the more overlooked shows of the decade. Though the show could sometimes over-rely on slapstick-ish humor (Shatner’s repeated mutterings of “Denny Crane!” and such), it’s aim was always true–to portray the odd friendship of two older, single men (Spader’s Shore and Shatner’s Crane) who genuinely cared for one another.

#6 – Top Chef

One of the most underrated entertainment story lines of this decade is: “How was it that a cooking show on Bravo–a network that only a few years ago was primarily known for Inside The Actor’s Studio–became the most popular cooking show on cable when there is a channel called The Food Network?” On paper, this show should have never stood a chance ratings-wise against Iron Chef America or Throwdown; it seemed like a foodie’s wet dream rather than a mainstream hit. But with each new season of Top Chef comes a new set of varied and talented chefs and an ever-growing, impressive lineup of special guest judges. The best part about the show is that the overall package is never presented in an insiders-only or presumptuous tone; they go to good lengths to succinctly explain to cooking idiots like me why this special guest judge is well-respected, or why this dish failed and the other did not. Oh, and the food more often than not looks mouth-wateringly delicious.

#5 – Project Runway

During the course of its six seasons (season 7 will be premiering in January), Project Runway–alongside the show that precedes it on this list–has set the gold standard by which any reality television show should be judged against. For real. Even if the design industry does nothing for you, this show is flat-out entertaining to watch, mostly because the show intrinsically does not put the designer’s back story in the foreground and the competitions are (mostly) individual so you have very minimal amounts of backstabbing and bitching. And the competitions are wonderfully imaginative: make a dress out of produce, make a dress for the mom of another designer, etc., all with budgets as minuscule as $25. Add to this the cheeriness of Heidi Klum, the likability of Michael Kors, and the never-too-harsh opinions of Nina Garcia and you have a pretty likable group of judges. But the main attraction of Runway is Tim Gunn, a guy so inherently likable that he acts as the perfect bridge between the designers and the judges.

#4 – The Shield

Tony Soprano will forever be the poster child of the modern television anti-hero but Michael Chiklis’ “Vic Mackey” is more deserving of the award. The Shield consistently got better with each passing season and ultimately delivered on one of the best series finales ever made–everything comes to a head, the fallout for a few of the characters is death (both literal and metaphorical), and Mackey somehow claws his way out to the other side, albeit in a neutered role. The show’s strength was double-edged: it routinely put Vic’s Strike Team through an always-changing gray area (i.e.–how do you get away with killing a federal agent looking to break up the team that is mostly keeping the street wars at bay? what is the morality, if any, of working with street gangs in order to keep the peace to innocent bystanders?), and it also had some of the best cameos in recent history (Glenn Close and Anthony Anderson in season 4 as the new captain and a gang leader, respectively; Forrest Whitaker as a monomaniacal IED agent). The Shield also had one of the better character developments of the decade too with Shane Vendrell (Walton Goggins) going from hick sidekick to a multi-layered tragic figure.

#3 – Arrested Development

I think it’s actually a blessing that this show was axed by Fox when it did, because it spared us from ever having to wonder if the show was losing a step (like I’m wondering now with 30 Rock). In any event, to me, there has been no sitcom since Seinfeld that has even encroached the humor and genius of Arrested Development. Even the best episodes of 30 Rock cannot compete with a weaker episode of Arrested Development. The casting is perfect–the subtle sarcasm of Jason Bateman’s “Michael Bluth”; the Bob Newhart-ian delivery of lines by Michael Cera’s “George Michael Bluth”; the over-the-top aggressiveness of Will Arnett’s “G.O.B.”; the dead-pan hilarity that comes from Ron Howard just narrating scenes; every family member was cast perfectly–and the cameos throughout the show’s short-lived history were nothing short of perfect: Charlize Theron’s “Mr. F” and Carl Weathers as himself as a cheapskate were all-out brilliant. The real strength of the show was the insane ability to craft numerous storylines and meta-storylines at any given moment. For example, an episode about marijuana cuts to a scene that takes place 30 years previously about a band who had written a song called “Big Yellow Joint,” which was street code for the banana stand that the Bluth family ran on the side. No other comedy has ever had me consistently laugh out loud like this show. It also comforted me knowing that were also other never-nudes out there as well.

#2 – Lost

A lot depends on how the final season will end but, as of right now, it is amazing that, a, not only did this show get made (its pilot episode is the most expensive pilot episode ever made) but, b, the fact that a show that moved at such a snail’s pace for the first two seasons (the writers essentially kept everything slow until the network gave them an end date) then accelerated the storylines beyond all get-out AND introduced sci-fi elements AND didn’t cause people to run for the hills is nothing short of phenomenal. Lost proved that a show with a gigantic, ever-growing cast with ever-growing plotlines could not only become popular, but could do it in the form of a literature-comic book hybrid sort of way; you didn’t have to resort to David Lynch-ian methods. Additionally, Lost (again, so much of this will depend on the series finale) could go down in history as one of the most important shows of this decade–a cross between The Twilight Zone, M*A*S*H, and NYPD Blue.

#1 – Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Yes, only three seasons of Buffy aired in the aughts but one of them was season 5, also known as The Best Season Of Any Show I’ve Ever Seen. The season starts with Dracula (Dracula: “I am Dracula.” Buffy: “Get OUT!”), the sudden addition of a sister that never existed (and they pulled it off, even if the actress could get annoying), and ends with the show’s only natural death and a sacrifice to stop the world from being destroyed. This season had episodes that were creatively humorous (“The Replacement,” in which Xander is inadvertently cloned), a foreshadowing of how dark the series would get (“Fool For Love,” when Spike tells Buffy that all Slayers have death wishes), a really underrated gem (“Checkpoint,” in which it’s finally revealed what exactly Glory is), one of the greatest episodes from any show dealing with death (“The Body”), an excellent penultimate episode revolving around a catatonic Buffy (“The Weight Of The World”), and a season finale (“The Gift”) that could rival any Icon-status show’s finale. In addition to all of this, you also have season 6′s “Once More, With Feeling,” which was a musical episode that sets the bar for any show that looks to ditch its format for an episode, and you also have the extra-dark and extra-philosophical Warren/Willow arc (and its fallout) of the last four episodes. Season 7, despite the unavoidable anti-climactic nature of the end, still managed to churn out some masterful episodes dealing with morality (“Storyteller”), the meaning of life (“Conversations With Dead People”), and the choices that are made when dealing with the temptation of unfettered power (“Get It Done”). Additionally, the last quarter of season 7 introduced one the most horrific villains in the show’s history (as well as one of the creepiest villains to have ever graced a television set)—Caleb, the ultra-misogynistic fallen priest (“Dirty Girls”).