I had a huge epiphany last night as I was watched the Tampa Bay Rays (née Devil) defeat the Boston Red Sox in Game 7 of ALCS: the Chicago Cubs will not win the World Series until 2021. Mark it on your future calendar. If you are a Cubs fan, just take it easy for [...]
Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
August 10, 2008
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How To Be Turned Into A Country Mouse In Ten Seconds
By MDS in Humor, SocietyOn Saturday night, Girl and I went to go see a concert at Ravinia in Highland Park, Illinois. We do not live anywhere near Highland Park so all we knew about Ravinia was that it was an outdoor concert venue. I knew this for certain when I bought lawn tickets instead of pavillion tickets. So, [...]
July 4, 2008
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4th of July Tips
By MDS in HumorWith the 4th of July here, it is time to compile a list of tips to help you better celebrate America’s birthday. Also, this list will educate children or foreigners who will be celebrating their first 4th of July about America. — The 4th of July is a celebration of the founding of America—a country [...]
May 30, 2008
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An Open Letter To The National Sports Media
By MDS in Baseball, Humor, SportsTo Whom It May Concern, Hi, You do not know who I am but I am writing you, the national sports media that will write columns and/or provide televised coverage and analysis of Major League Baseball games, this letter because I am a Cubs fan. What this means is that I do not want you [...]
April 15, 2008
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Ladies And Gentlemen… The Devil
By MDS in Baseball, Humor, OpinionAt approximately 7:05p CST tonight the Devil himself, Dusty Baker, will arrive at Wrigley Field again. It is unknown as to whether or not he will sacrifice a virgin, wipe out rows of Wrigley spectators by simply moving his arms while chanting some indecipherable language, or make a pentagram in the clubhouse with pine tar [...]
March 12, 2008
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Barack Obama, Meet Frank Viola
By MDS in Humor, Opinion, PoliticsWhen I was eight years old my friends and I used the following ironclad rule when trading baseball cards: if Player A recently had a good game, his card was worth at least two other cards. The only possible wrinkles to this rule were A) players like Cal Ripken, Jr., Wade Boggs, Nolan Ryan, or [...]
February 12, 2008
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Valentine’s Day Tips
By MDS in HumorNow that the proliferation of K-Y gel and Lover’s Lane commercials has begun it can only mean one thing—Valentine’s Day is coming. And even though Valentine’s Day is two days away it is still worth bringing up proper etiquette and some overall tips. To those who have constant romance in their heart, employ bluebirds to [...]
February 4, 2008
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The NFL And Mark Twain
By MDS in Football, Humor, OpinionI was half-tempted to post a “final thoughts” type blog about the Super Bowl on Saturday because I presumed that the Patriots would hold up their end of the bargain. But, between catching the flu and the 5% of my brain that said, “You hate it when sports-yak types pontificate about things that have not [...]
January 26, 2008
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In Which The Story Of The Kankabourley Coonipede Is Told
By MDS in Humor, StoryMost people don’t think twice when looking at a centipede. Some people are frightened by them; others, not so much. Some people go out of their way to kill centipedes because they are creepy—like bigger, quicker spiders. What most people do not know is that when you kill a centipede it sends out a distress [...]
January 2, 2008
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Blades Of Steel
By MDS in Humor, Opinion, SportsLast Monday, Nintendo released Blades Of Steel on the Virtual Console and if you were born between 1976 and 1979 (possibly 1980 or 1981 but that might be pushing it) this was not only a landmark hockey video game but a landmark sports video game in general (until, of course, Tecmo Bowl came out). Blades [...]